locked out of you

it's been a tough week. ok damnit this seriously sucks, like: i go home fine, and in 2hrs or so the mood plummets all the way down to the lowestest that Mood can go, and i cant do my work and so i go to sleep and i tell myself that tomorrow'll be better; it cant get worse than this. when i awake it's as if im alone in a place i dont even belong anymore, where im hardly wanted at all, where im just a negligible part of the air; take it for granted all you want, but even the air is important... my presence is barely acknowledged, for fuck's sake! thanks a whole. at least, im trying ok. not like you've ever noticed much anyone does save for yourself...

then im off to school as low as shit and looking forward to minimal human interaction while sarah's still mourning the loss of jolene and manpreet from our class :( and obviously im here doing close to nil to cheer her up... :/

-i might stop making sense around here-
im locked out of you

after fighting for us, i am right here
(in fact if you reach out you could actually touch me)
you discover that we are'nt the people you thought we are
shocked?
maybe it isn't that; maybe we never were... in the very first place
i wonder whether we've changed (who, me? or you.),
or if you're kidding yourself.
here's my take... for whatever it's worth
you've tired of us me,
the love extinguished...the trust shattered.
seriously, is there anything valuable left?
you've got the real deal, i see you don't like it...
you don't want us me, so i don't think i'll want you
find it within you; just let me go tell me what to do

i am so messed up
...and im so sick of wishing you were still here