i guess it's inevitable and just a matter of time before i say that: im a pretty lousy odac22ian >< this has been running through my mind and i've been trying to be objective but obviously that's quite impossible, and now im virtually back at square one, confused and slightly frustrated.
it's starting to feel like all this means something to them that's totally missing in me and i feel awfully guilty for not feeling that way.. what am i to do?!
the term for odac22 is drawing to a close, what with the new year and the arrival and inaug of the new batch of odac23ians... i've not exactly been excited about them (maybe cos there's noone around most of the time for me to be excited with hurh) while many of the others are well.. happening.
what have i gained and given from being an odac22ian? i fall short of my own (and i think others' too) expectations yet again. there are 48 members; i acknowledge 3/4 thereabouts, i chatter with hmm... 1/2, and am truly comfortable with bout 1/4. the goodbyes are just round the corner aah this sucks i have nothing meaningful to say abt what we shared to the majority of them ): which is a terrible pity as many of them are really great people.
i guess it can be summed up this way: i had the chance to form bonds and friendships with some amazing people, and i screwed up where the rest succeeded. and seeing them now makes we wonder about how i threw away what i never even (gave myself the chance to) had.
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