is it screwed up or am i screwed up. i, elysa, student of rjc, cannot study. and i am going nuts because i cannot study. let me clarify by 'i cannot study' i mean i spent my whole effing sunday cooped up, out of the sunshine, out of having a life and the outcome is i still don't know how to fcking apply bloody differentiation. and i've wasted a day of the few precious left on producing nothing fuck it. oh just kill me. if for nothing else, to stop me swearing my ass off- losing wtv shred of dignity tt still clings. so, 10mins ago i flew my white flag. go on differentiation, you win. you fcking sadist your mother will be ashamed! hurh im mad right. shit. then i finally i try to switch to econs and as i read and i read and i read, not a piece of info stays! wtFUCK all i keep doing is pee pee pee. fcking hell what is WRONG! god i need strength. i don't think god likes me swearing all the time, but i need to vent for a bit ok? i'll recuperate. i'll calm down. i'll get through this w/o killing myself. it's all been done before... all stale... btw for all my talk about dying and killing, i'll never do them ok. maybe im being insensitive by regarding such matters so lightly, but cut me some slack for awhile will ya.OH why can't it just be OVER.
this entry was typed in a disorderly, anomalous state of mind. im sorry im so messed up and im sorry studying is so painful BUT CAN MY BELOVED STUDYING MOOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE COME BACK TO ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
my studying lies over the ocean
my studying lies over the sea
my studying lies over the ocean
so bring back my studying to me
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