thisnothingness

Tonight will be the night
When I will fall for you
Over again...
Don't make me change my mind.

Without mistakes, without failure, I wouldn't've been as aware of the people who have been so kind to me. (Who just are kind.) Who mean well, and who hope I will do well. The next step is to show my appreciation - but how the hell?? I have almost zero experience in being appreciative. I tend to simply cruise along as if it's inconsequential that they're around helping / offering help. Deluding myself with the idea that I don't really need other people's help. Which, of course, I will be proven absolutely wrong in due course. I wonder what freak event God has in store for me which would finally make me realise how un-self-sufficient I am. Yikes. Given how little I've been good, I think it's gonna hurt real bad. Sigh.

Life's not a popularity contest, but it doesn't hurt to be liked. Im not one who thrives on being liked, but I do hate the feeling when I know that someone dislikes me - and doesnt bother to disguise it. Im just doing my part to diversify the world! If everyone's gonna be outgoing, confident and talkative, imagine how frigging noisy the world will be! There is a deep-seated need in society for the quiet, aloof observers. Maybe it's a cosmic balance that some of the population have to go about doing what they do less noisily - or like, the balance will be tipped and the earth will explode into nothingness. How'd you like that!
I dont know. Maybe.