gratitude my ass

how do i display a gratitude that i don't feel?

i didn't ask for this... and honestly, given a choice, ie. had the matter been discussed with me before the decisions were made instead of my life being up and lifted without my having a clue at all of what's going on for most of 4 months, i would have opted for the decisions that would not have involved my being in this situation.

everything you said is true: they helped move my things, helped get the house, helped get the internet, helped fix the shelf/bed/whatever else, but i didn't ask for a single one of these things. i did not ask for them to be involved in my life. in fact i did not even know that these people were so involved in my life, were moving my things and fixing my mother's bed etc.

it's not fair to expect me to display or feel gratitude towards help that was rendered out of my knowledge and control, and which i would have opted not to receive had i been involved in making decisions that have apparently changed my life. these people are, at this point, no thanks to the lack of updates even if not discussions about certain milestones that's gonna affect me, little more than strangers to me. how is it fair to expect me to be any more than cordial towards a group of strangers who seem to be more comfortable in what's supposedly my home, than me?

i'm honestly at a loss now and don't know what to do. i'm back not 3 days and my life routine of waiting out the crap and escaping at any available opportunity is back on track. well done. this might be some vicious cycle..