The first "big" presentation

I made a presentation today. I'm not so good at making presentations, but this was an important one (at least, my most important to date) and I felt fairly confident about my topic/content to carry it across to a higher platform, so I went for it when my sup indicated that I could take it. Then again, he might have been under the impression that I'm good with presentations (funnily enough several people share that opinion of me. why?)

I'd set about preparing diligently - an engaging set of slides, animations appropriately featured, a script, rehearsing the script and editing for natural-ness, clearing the whole jingbang 10 days prior.

Suddenly it's the day! Mine's the 6th out of 9 presentations for the day. Besides presenting, I've logistics duty - manning the presentation laptop / projector screen. I sit in the laptop corner skimming through my script and pre-empted Q&A sheet (opportunity favors the prepared!) but now I'm starting to think that I should have prepared more seriously. This all looks good on paper but I'm not ready to verbalize this stuff! I haven't even rehearsed the Q&A section! And he's asking questions - gulps - offhandedly, sure, but that's the way the powers do it after all. Offhand but pointed. What if I can't answer? I devise a plan for myself on the spot - I'll catch my sup's eye if I'm stumbling and will him with all the telepathic force I can muster to take over. Too bad I can't messenger this to him since my laptop's held hostage.

The Chair has surprisingly many queries today. This is slightly unsettling but I tell myself I'm good, and I have back-up too, and (most importantly) there's nothing else for me to do right now but await my turn. So, CHILL! Is it really cold in here? Why are my hands freezing?

Presenter before me's done. I gauge the petering off of the Chair's queries; when he begins digressing from the main presentation item, I adroitly (at least that's how I imagine - and hope - it went) bring up my slides and slip into a presenter's chair at the table - the table with the big boys and girls. "Good afternoon ..."

Aaand somehow I've managed to begin the presentation speaking too fast. I'm stumbling over my words a bit as I try to avoid staring down at the script without straying too far from it. Feeling a little disoriented. From the corner of my eye, my sup is gesturing - to slow down, I think. I comply. Regulate breaths, slower pace. One word after another. I'm not sounding too confident, I think, and I'm going "uhhm" one too many times. Buck up, buck up! Once the bulk of the content is past, I begin to chill. Well played, neurotic self, now then you wanna chill -.- My script from here on is short sentences, I think that helps (note to self).

Sup catches me after the meeting. I brace myself. "Thankfully, (the boss) commented that your presentation was ok." "I spoke too fast," I interject stupidly, trying to "own my mistake" before it owns me. But the sup continues, "No, it went ok. (The boss) found that your presentation was well thought through." I am stunned. SCORE! Phew.