ok. thoughts overflow alert!!! geez how is it possible to have too many thoughts that your head just goes all **blegh and you cant even remembere clearly what you were thinking like 1 minute ago? i had the idea this only happens in books. like in HP when d'dore and snape put their thoughts into the bowl thingy what was it? a pensieve? or did i get it mixed up... ok. WTV! wayy off tangent. where was i?
"-_- diao.
ok how about... important things first. how shall i put this: basically, i get this feeling that my life in rj is going to be a full blast.. like nightmare. 2 yrs of living horror. let's face it; the truth and nothing but the (awful) truth; if i took o levels, i prolly wont get into rj..right? i mean like cos only the erm smart pple used to get there, right.. and now, shit, im here.(!) at first, it felt kind of like when i found out i coukd actually GET to opt into Rg when i did surprisingly well for PSLE; i was nervous but i knew i was up to it; look, i sat for the exam, and i freakin made it in, fair and square, ok!!
but now... i dunno man.. (i've recently taken a liking to writing duno/dont know as dunno. i used to think it was quite stupid, btw) shit am i the only onw with this rubbishit right now?! cant be right.. like "you're never alone, there's always others just like you -insert smiley-". shit what do they do man.. oh how high are the rj blocks anyhows? 6? 7 storeys? just wondering...
ohmegawsh now im really worried... :( oh gawd i really hope this is some pre-[jc-life-proper]-jitters shit. please let it be.. and oh please god dont let me do anything like STUPID. stupid things that stupid people do. i dont wanna be stupid. i mean im not stupid. like really seriously kind of stupid. even i know that... ahaha shit i am such a freakin rambling machine i'd hate to hear myself ! im glad im not my friend... :P
i am not understanding much in lectures, and that's pretty worrying considering we havent freakin DONE anything!!! gawd this feels so DUMB!
ok ok i shall take everything i've just thought out loud up there (up there literally N up there as in in my mind), pack it together , and put it in a drawer in the "might look at again" compartment of my mind (alongside like last yr's lesson notes which i NeED to get sorted somehow).and.
i will
1) hope that it doesnt mean anything at all, that im just having some wierd wierd jitters,
2) try understand the stuff i currently dont (like freakin LasT yr's stuff.. :S) so that i dont feel so stupid cos like that's spsd to be how all this rubbishit comes about, right?
and 3) PRAYYY to god, and insyaAllah i'll be bestowed with strength of will and mind to get pass the adversities.. (commonly referred to as "all this shit")
... i think i feel a teeny weeny bit better? :S
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