bloody hols.

pfft hols have been pretty darn SHIT except for the times when im out and about, pushing to the very back of my mind (and wrestling with it the whole bloody time to STAY there) all the fuck i've been pretending to be totally oblivious about, in the desperate hope that it will go away. but of course, everyone knows that ignoring isnt gonna make things right and making the effort + having the courage to do something about it is by far the smartest thing to do. well get this: i dont know,ok. i dont know what the fuck i am supposed to do to please you; no matter how carefully i tread around you, no matter how many bases i try to cover, no matter how hard i try to act how you would like me to, im just lousy at this shit, ok! what the fuck no more surprises, no more bottled up shit ok. nothing i do is ever enough- you talk of being treated unfairly- back at you, fuck it! why dont you realise that it's a bloody cycle we're going through; so predictable and yet nothing's being done to change it. the ball is in your fucking court; please dont exasperate me and make the same bloody move again, snugly completing the old and marking the beginning of the next frame. it's just so fucking tiring and even more stupid.